What on earth do I call my son?
I mean, yeah, he has a name, he’s 19 months old so it’d be pretty slack if I hadn’t got that one sorted out by now, but what do I call him on here? Do I call him his real name (which I’ve done quite a few times), ‘my son’ (which sounds pointlessly formal) or a made up thing like his initial or something? I suppose what I’m really asking myself is, do I think that if I write about my son online them I’m putting him in some kind of danger from a paedophile?
And I am genuinely interested in other people’s views on this, because I’ve read a lot of blogs but only a few of them actually name their kids and now I’m a bit concerned this might make me a bad parent in some way?
My story is this, when I was a kid, I had a best friend who for the purpose of this we’ll call X. X was my best mate through primary and junior school. Her mum was one of my mums best mates, they used to go out for lunch, us kids would have dinner round each others and sometimes I’d stay there at the weekend. They were a very religious family (mine were atheist) and sometimes I’d go to Sunday School with X if I’d stayed there. Her dad worked in the city, did a bit of business abroad and after X’s mum died, it was also discovered that he was a paedophile. You saw that coming, right?
Nothing ever happened to me, but I’m sure I know people that it did happen to. This is the thing, isn’t it? It was my mums best mates husband. She was a lovely woman. I wouldn’t expect that of any of my friends husbands and I know they would be horrified if such a thing was ever suggested. I’ve certainly never been worried about any of them abusing my son.
That’s not to say I don’t worry about these things. When I was pregnant I had the experience a lot of people have of people touching my bump. One of which was a man who I was later informed by a reliable friend is on the sex offenders list to do with issues a child. Check out the parenting guilt on that one! Needless to say I’ve steered clear of this man since then.
It’s a tricky one isn’t it? I’ve worked in sport for a while and my husband works for a church. These sectors don’t breed paedophiles, but the level of trust means that people looking to abuse trust do migrate there, its an awful thing but true (and it does make us sound like a nightmare couple to leave your kids with?!) I wouldn’t stop my son going to a football club, but if I’m perfectly, will probably get a bit in trouble for this, honest, I would feel a bit funny about leaving him at a church thing. That’s probably down to my own experience though.
So does naming my son online leave him more open to abuse, could anyone really be bothered to go through my blog and them hunt down where we live and befriend him? It seems a bit like an effort to me, but I’m still not sure what the answer is. Would love to know your thoughts!